her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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