drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize