I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
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Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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