just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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