Plan B is the new Plan A
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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