just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
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The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
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I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize