I smell stomach acid.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
false alarm. still invincible.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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