my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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