even my farts smell like vagina
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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