uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Are my feet made of real feet?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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