I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize