why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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