i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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