O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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