when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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