everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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