So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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