is your mom at the bar?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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