I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize