I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
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i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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