I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I would fuck him just for his dog
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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