I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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