so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize