my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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