just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize