Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Sober January is a disaster.
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I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
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He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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