He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
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It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
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Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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