I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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