Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize