you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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