Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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