4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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