Ambien. No doubt about it.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize