got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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