Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize