I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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