His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
