All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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