so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
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I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
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I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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