8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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