I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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