fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Boobs speak an international language.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize