She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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