corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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