put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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