You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize