I wish I only lived at night.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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