eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
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He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
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Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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