it wasn't lemon gatorade
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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