when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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