you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
COCAINE IS GR8
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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